Every year in January, I tell myself to be better. Be a better wife, mother, daughter, granddaughter, niece, friend, neighbor, etc and every year at the end of December, I'm never quite sure if I've been "better" enough. For people like me (control freak, particular, stubborn, high strung...) it's hard to ever feel like we've done enough. In my mind, there is always room for improvement. There is always something more I could have done, something more or less that I could have said, and as always... never enough time to accomplish all I had planned. I have been this way for as long as I can remember. In looking back, I honestly can't remember a year that I didn't feel like I should've done more... except for this last one! 2010 was kind of a break through year for me. It was the year that I learned to loosen up! Even though I am 27 and fast approaching 30, still in school (or back in school, however you want to look at it), living in a new place, raising a super opinionated yet amazing little boy, walking around with tumors in my body, not knowing where we will be in the next six months, I am 100% OKAY! For me... this is incredible! Sure, I am still really uptight and freakish about some things but overall, I can honestly say that I am better at not being "better." It's so completely refreshing! And the best part... I am so content with my life. Sure, there are always days that I get frustrated or feel kind of lonely or whatever, but for the most part, life is just good. I have a husband that loves me to pieces and loves our son more than life itself, I have a wild, crazy, hilariously stubborn little boy who makes every day great (even the days that he whines), I am able to stay home with my little boy every day, and we all have a roof over our heads and food to eat. Honestly... I couldn't ask for anything more.
Cheers to 2010... the year I learned that it's quite alright to just be happy with who I am, who I have in my life, and what I have done. No more looking back and wishing I had done more! (With the exception of blogging, that is! I am going to hate myself when I get to the end of 2010 and only have three posts from October to the end of the year. Shoot. This is one leaf I have got to turn over and keep it that way!)
3 comments:
Screw the tumors, they suck! I'm glad you are feeling so great Pootsy, that's quite a feat given our family's tendency to worry and stress about everything :). . . or maybe that's just my problem, yeah I'm horrible about just being okay
whitney you are such an inspiration.. im always so impressed with you. always have been. thanks for sharing this! you are great!
That is awesome Whit! I wish I were feeling that way. I'm a lazy control freak. The too don't fit together. It's been too long since I've seen you! Miss you girly!
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