My thoughts are kind of jumbled tonight. I'm not quite sure why. I just got home this evening from spending a wonderful day with my little family in the mountains. Our day was so fun. We need to do it more often. My baby is in bed and has been for hours. My husband is out with the boys. I'm here with my little dogs at my feet and for some reason can't quite put into words how I feel right now. Yesterday was an interesting day. I spoke at a Laurel retreat about my trials. I think about these events daily but for some reason tonight, all that I have been through in the last few years seems a little unreal. Sometimes now, I almost feel like I am lying when people ask me about my story and I tell them what happened. Was I really that girl that was sick for so long? Did I really have to shave my head and walk around with a wig and scarves on? Did I really worry every day that I wouldn't be able to have a child? I know that I was that girl and that I did do all those things, but today, after spending such a wonderful day with my little family, it's hard to remember. Today, for the first time in a really long time, I guess I just feel like myself. I feel like the girl that I hoped I would be when I was younger. I feel like I have finally made my way back to the path that I started on with my sweet husband when we got married. We have had a SUPER long detour and have experienced many great and amazing things, and some that have definitely not been so nice, but today, I think I am back to where I need to be. I'm not the sick kid anymore. My loved ones don't have to worry about me every day. I can go to the doctor and not worry. My mom doesn't have to hold her breath when I call to report what he said. Time really does heal all wounds and Heavenly Father really does bless us most greatly through our trials. Not only do I feel like I am back to being me, I can honestly say that I am a better me. I am a better wife, daughter, sister, and mother because of the things I have learned over the past few years and for that, I will be forever grateful.
I love this little boy more than I ever could have imagined and I know that he was sent here to our family to help heal the hearts that have been hurting for a very long time!
14 comments:
this made me so happy!
such a sweet sweet post.
Thank you for sharing your joy and gratitude! You are a beautiful person inside and out and that precious little boy is so blessed to be yours. :)
Yes, this was a very sweet post, it's hard for me to even imagine all that you went through...It's actually very inspiring.
PS Drake has the most amazing eyes!
We can totally relate to your thoughts and feelings! I never thought about it but it really does feel like we are lying when we tell our story! ;) You guys have done great! People think me crazy when I say I feel so special to have been chosen to go through something like that. Soo happy for you guys! Love you!!!!
It was hard to watch you, I wished every single day you were doing chemo that it would've been me that was sick because you'd just gotten married and you had way too much to live for. I've been thinking the past few months that you were the exact same age as me and in the same place in your life as me when everything started happening. Your life has been a miracle in mine Whit, you are the best sister in the world and I can't even say how grateful I am that you are okay. I guess I am also grateful for the things I learned through that too, even though there is no way I'd want to go back and do it again. You have taught me so much about strength and perseverance, you truly are the most amazing person I know, and I look up to you in every way. I love you and your little boy, he makes me so happy and helps me to forget all the hurting.
Whit this was such a good post! It made me so happy. We need to do the pool sometime this week. We keep saying that and we never do, which I know is mostly my fault (sorry) but we will do it sometime or else I will refuse to move away. I am soo glad that you are doing so good and that sweet Drake has brought so much with him. He is such a sweet baby, I miss that boy. I will come see him and you soon I promise, we need to catch up in a bad way! Again i loved the post, great job-you are so good with words. talk to you soon!
Beautiful said! Isn't amazing how one little guy can make everything perfect?
P.S. I think Drake might have Nathan beat with the brightest blue eyes. Nathan is constantly getting commented on them, but I swear Drake might have him beat!
That was really sweet to share your thoughts. I know I few people that needed that. Your little family is so cute!!!
I loved your post, glad you are in such a happy place right now!
Is it just me or is the color font on the white background hard to read?
so sweet whit... you made me cry. I need to count my blessings more often and push aside the negative things that happen to me.
Hey Whit!
I have been SO bad at commenting lately, but Drake is getting so big. His eyes are amazing by the way. Looks like you guys had a blast in Ohio. How was drake on the airplane? Adam is a pain on planes. haha. Yeah, we did the bumbo during meal time, and it got way too hard. I highly recommend a high chair. It was totally time for us! We are getting ready to move in here in probably 2 weeks. I have so much to do its not even funny. Yet, here I am, wasting time on the internet :) Gotta love it.
Whitney, it was so good to see you a couple weeks ago. Drake is such a cutie, he is lucky to have you! Oh, and Chris too of course. ;)
Ahh I love your gorgeous red hair and I just have to say your little boy is so so cute. I love those big blue eyes. Thanks for such a sweet post. You are a beautiful person.
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